CUDGC: safe!

In a somewhat dedicated effort to go by the books this year, we've all tried extra hard to abide by the various specific line items of Cornell's laboratory safety plan. One of said line items (at least as far as Cornell is concerned) is that we all have to take Cornell's laboratory safety class at some point or another. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for safety, and full size vehicles driving themselves is a friggin' freaky thing to see. However, since this lab safety class clearly had chemicals, fume hoods, and the like in mind, I figure I'll just translate the rules for use in our labs. With that, I give you the "most important" lessons I learned from the laboratory safety class:

1. If you spill the ketchup, clean it up.

2. DPDough calzones look as great as they taste.

3. Take showers frequently. Otherwise, the dandruff might cause you to develop a dangerous circular cavity where your heart once was. That, and your neck might disappear.

4. If at all possible, try to walk around the giant falling drill area.

5. If your pet rat has been flattened by the autonomous vehicle, then chances are good that it's coming after you next.

6. If your lab looks like this, well then... wait, the lab always looks like this.

7. Always activate your laser eyes before you remove your hand.

8. If you see storm troopers, stop what you are doing. Walk quickly and quietly to an exit, and contact the nearest rebellion as soon as possible.